Deliverance of Grief
Everyone who has suffered from grief needs help and support. One thing that was a great blessing to my family and me was the meals that a few of the ladies in our church made for us. My mother was the main cook in our house and when she passed away cooking good healthy meals soon become a battle for us. I am very grateful for all the meals and treats made for us during the difficult few weeks after mum’s death. This made the first few weeks of grieving much easier to deal with.
I also valued the many prayers and telephone conversations I had with my minister and fellow believers. Even a brief five minutes helped. Just to know that there are people who care enough to call meant a great deal. During the first few days and weeks after the loss of a loved one the temptation to shut out the world and to be alone is very strong. Time alone to think is important, but so is the company and fellowship of family and friends.
Another great blessing was the letters and cards many people sent to us. This is a permanent way of showing love and support. I read many of them several times, especially in the small hours of the morning when the loss is more felt. It is a great comfort to read what my mother meant to so many people. The apostle Paul wrote many letters to the various churches of the New Testament that offer comfort and hope in times of sorrow.
One such passage of Scripture is found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 where Paul writes, “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.” Paul wanted to comfort the saints at Corinth. Remember, the Holy Spirit is writing through Paul. There is a comfort to be found in suffering. This comfort will pass our understanding. Our hearts and mind will be at rest when we rest in God. The Lord has promised to send the comforter, the Holy Spirit. In John 14:26 Jesus said, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.”
In Titus 2:13 the Bible speaks of our “blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour Jesus Christ.” Our blessed hope is that those who die believing in Christ will be raised to be with him forever. God gave us the Bible to encourage us (Romans 15:4). It would be foolish to ignore our emotions during grief. Our emotions are God given and part of being human. However, it would be more foolish to forget our hope in Christ. At the start of this book, I mentioned a quote by Queen Elizabeth II about grief being the price we pay for love. The one who does not weep over the passing of a loved one displays a lack of love. All emotions must be acknowledged and expressed. This is not easy for some people, especially for those who do not normally express their feelings.
The emotional side of grief must be expressed and understood before the bereaved can move on with the rest of their life. In time new relationships and friendships will be made, but we need time to come to terms with this new life. When the time is right be careful. Do not try to replace a loved one. This puts great pressure on both people, as you will never find someone who is the same as the person who has died. It is common for a widow to replace their husband/wife with a partner. This is a good thing, but do not compare them to your former spouse.